Journey of a Yawn

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November 25, 2013 by vh1161

Original art by Gifford Heidel

Original art by Gifford Heidel

The yawn was born on the Red Line at 7:03am, as the junior analyst regretted his choices of the night before.  It traveled down the train to the 40-ish librarian, who stifled it behind “Bridget Jones – Mad About the Boy” as the train stopped to pick up more passengers at Metro Center.  A secretary walking down the platform toward the Orange Line spotted the yawn and adopted it.  She took it with her to work on Capitol Hill, where it jumped onto the congressional aide who kept inventing reasons to stop by the secretary’s desk.

The aide took the yawn to the Senate floor, where an unsuspecting Senator in the midst of a passionate tirade about farm subsidies suddenly found himself unable to speak for six seconds.  Those six seconds proclaimed the yawn’s power to wreak silent havoc on the reputations of great men, because the cameras captured the most unattractive, blinking, gasping mid-yawn expressions on the Senator’s face — and of all the moments in his carefully-planned and practiced speech, that was the moment that went viral.  It became the hottest meme of the week and put a dent in his approval rating.

Its work done, the yawn left with a photojournalist.  It made the rounds at Tunnicliff’s Tavern before sneaking back onto the Orange Line with a burnt-out security guard.  When the guard fell asleep, the yawn got bored and switched to the Red Line at Metro Center, where it sat down with the junior analyst and followed him all the way home.

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